HOW TO COURT

Hi Ladies,
Nice to be back here with you all. Believe it or not MOH and I have reconciled for the moment. But don't hold your breath because this relationship is passionate and very volatile. So where I left off with MOH was that Monday night of last week, I still hadn't heard from him. On Tuesday, I wrote on my status, "To err is human, but to forgive is divine."

And he commented, "Then I am divine." I didn't respond to that because my therapist was vehemently against the relationship. So much for objectivity! Then, on Tuesday afternoon, he called my business line with a referral. I still didn't respond. Then he put on his Face Book status some quote by Gandhi, "First they ignore you..." Of course, I thought it was referring to me and I felt guilty for ignoring him. So I called him on Wednesday morning at 10 am and thanked him for the referral and said he was "welcome to call." That's right, girls, don't tell a guy to "call you back" because that is telling them what to do. So by 2 pm in the afternoon, he still hadn't returned my call. It had been a whole week since we had last spoken and I was going through oxytocin withdrawal hell. When I saw him on Face Book instant message, I couldn't resist. I im'd, "hi".

I got completely needy and I asked, "Did you get my message this morning?" OMG! No response. I know men love to be thanked so again I thanked him for the referral. He responded that he was on the phone. I again asked for a convenient time to talk for just "five minutes". He said to call him and, of course, I did. I basically let him have it for emotionally abandoning me and not letting me defend myself. He was very quiet and when I asked why he said, because he didn't want to exacerbate the fight. So at the end of the conversation, which had gone way past five minutes, by the way, I asked him if we were broken up.

And he back pedaled, "Well, how can we break up if weren't really together? I mean let's not put a label on it because it's too much pressure."

I agreed, "You are right. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, because I can date whoever I want and you can date whoever you want. But we did agree to be sexually monogamous and to see each other once a week. Is that agreement broken?" Again, total silence. So I got into my yang mode and I came up with a solution, "Why don't we just see each other one more time and either have the human dignity to break up in person or we can try to work it out." He agreed and asked me to call him after work. So I called him at 9 pm as I was leaving the office and he said to call him back at 10 pm because he was in a business meeting. Then, I call him back at 10 pm and he said to call him back at 10:30 pm. So I call him back at 10:30 pm, and I am a little put off to say the least. He then, invites me to come over to his house in Hollywood.

Now ladies, as good as the sex is and as much as I want to make up, I am a little too dignified to traipse across town at 11 pm, so I say, "You sound really busy. Let's just do it another time."

He gets really frustrated and asks when I have to be at work. I tell him whenever I want and he gets even more irritated. So again, I turn into the pleaser, which is the nature of women, and I say, "Do you really want me to come over tonight?" And he says "no" and hangs up on me. Then, I don't hear from him for three more days. I go to Agape Sunday to the early service hoping to bump into him and the later service. I stay for the second service past the meditation and all the way into the second song, still no MOH. So I figure it's not God's will for me to see him and sure enough, as I give up and leave the building, he is walking in. We immediately get all googly eyed and he asks me to sit down with him on a bench outside the church. We talk it through and he invites me out that night. That was the past Sunday and I have seen him, in addition, Monday night, Wednesday night and Friday night. That is four times in one week. We have great sex and he is testing me at every turn to see if I am psycho.

The tough part is that even though we really bond and have great sex, he doesn't call me between visits. I mean, not at all. I am really not used to this behavior. Usually, when someone is my boyfriend, they call every day we make advanced plans. The days he hadn't called this week were beyond torture. But I gave in and called him Wednesday night and when I saw him, he was a grump. Then, when I white knuckled it through two days and didn't call him, he finally called me Friday evening and we went on our first double date. He was full of charm and compliments. He even spoke of the future and showed jealousy of other men. Wow. This hard to get stuff could actually work if I only had the stregnth to do it.

So today is Saturday and I haven't heard from him and it's really tough. But I will probably see him tomorrow at Agape and we will see if we hang out tomorrow after Church. This is truly a battle for the skirt. He has never had to pursue, court or cherish a woman's feelings. And it is becoming painfully obvious he doesn't know how to. The only way to train a man is lack of contact, according to the Bitch Book. And men fall in love when they are away, says Pat Allen. So I am one hour and sometimes one minute at a time staying away. Ladies, we have the power and we are the prize! Any man who thinks that he is the prize is a feminine man or a narcissist and you can do better.

Until we meet again, lovelies!

Sweet dreams,

Goddess Girl

FACE BOOK FREEZE OUT!

Dear Lovely Ladies,
I have not been blogging much because I have been off cavorting with MOH. We have been having a grand ole romance. I haven't had this much fun since my ex-fiance and that ended in 2008. He is an Adonis in bed. I mean, he rocked my world! He even agreed to the contract before sex. He said he would be monogamous, meaning we would only have sex with each other, duh! He said he would have continuity, which means he would see me at least once a week. And he also, agreed to long term. We had sex like 8 times in a week. He wanted to see me every night and we couldn't get enough of each other. We went to Agape together and he introduced me to all his friends and even told his Mom about me. He called me, Mrs. MOH. He was the life of the party and had blinding charisma. Women wanted him and men wanted to be him. He took me to a heavy metal concert at the Key Club, where we hugged and made out like teenagers. In his words, "Who would have guessed, that at 43, I could ever feel this way again."

But all that came to a grinding halt, due to a Face Book comment I made. I innocently took a picture of a gopher coming out of the ground at yoga class and posted it on Face Book. Some guy, Charlie, made a dumb joke. He said, "he was just saying "gopher it." Get it? Go For It! gopher... go for... *sigh* never mind..."

Then MOH says, "small world...you know Chris...Chris you know Buffy...lol".

And I said, "Who's Buffy?"

MOH says, "you!"

It was kind of weird because he had never called me Buffy before and now he was calling me Buffy to his friend on Face Book. This was some sort of territorial thing but I didn't realize it at the time. Then Charlie says, "MOH is a former classmate of mine, Godess Girl... he's obviously starting the weekend festivities a bit early..."

By the way, does anyone know what means? I have no idea. So I chimed in and left the relationship destroying comment, "OBVIOUSLY". I mean, I was just going along with the joke with no intentions whatsoever to hurt MOH. I mean, why would I? I was having the time of my life with him. Then MOH starts instant messaging me that I was being so "not cool" to say that. So I of course apologized and deleted my comment. MOH goes on and on about how I am disloyal and how I showed my true colors. I asked for forgiveness and he said "no". He went on to call me a "liar" and thought I was private messaging Charlie and that we were in cahoots. I barely met Charlie once at a party and he is my Face Book friend. If you would have told me that Charlie would one day, cock block the best sex of my life, I wouldn't have believed you. If you would have told me the innocent picture I posted of a gopher would have caused me some serious heart ache, I wouldn't have bought it. It just goes to show how one event leads to another which leads to another. You can't predict or plan life.

It is now Monday night and MOH hasn't responded to my texts or calls all weekend. So I just gave up. I assume we are broken up. He is now officially on the 8 week plan. Eight weeks is a scientific number which has to do with how the male brain works. It takes three days for dendrites to form. Thirty days to soft wire and sixty days to hard wire. As much as I want to go to his apartment and beat down his door and demand that we talk it through, if nothing else to defend my integrity, I can't do that. I must remain aloof and distant so that he realizes how much he misses me. I have made my amends and asked for a time to talk and he bitterly refused me. So now is the time to out "fem" him. Remember the three P's, although, nearly impossible to do, they are our greatest weapon. PATIENCE, PASSIVITY AND PERSISTENCE. It can take a while, but all men eventually are defeated by the three P's. Once you feed a dog, he will always come back for a scrap. In fact, every guy I have ever slept with has eventually come back and wanted more. The most challenging part is seeing him on Face Book instant messenger and not im'ing him. I may even de-friend him, but I have to run it by my therapist. I probably won't though. I won't lower myself to his immature, high school behaviour. I will rise above it, and act as if it never happened. Ladies, I hate games and I wish I didn't have to play them, but at this stage, it is the only way I can get my power back. I know I can see him either Friday night at a party in Beverly Hills or at Agape Sunday.When I see him, I will act as if nothing's wrong, and keep it light and polite.

Beauties, I have to believe that when one door closes another one opens. That men are like buses, there's one coming every 10 minutes. I am glad I lost my 2010 virginity and that I had sex under contract. I am glad I had someone to play and practice with. He wasn't rich, he had two room mates and three cats. He was tight with his money and a total mama's boy. It would have never worked out long term and I am glad it only lasted three weeks. He was so cheap, he didn't even leave toilet paper in his bathroom because he didn't want his room mates to use it! Remember ladies, that REJECTION IS GOD'S PROTECTION. He is an acting coach to hoochie mama's and he posts disgusting Maxim style pictures of his students on his Face Book wall. He is not classy and reminds me of working class heroes like Steve Perry of Journey or Kid Rock. He told me every excuse why he couldn't be in a relationship and he latched onto a Face Book comment as his excuse to get out. As they say, "Thanks, for playing, MOH! Next contestant please!"

Until next time, pretty girls, smile like you mean it!

Ciao,

Goddess Girl