Hello beauties,
So there are some new contenders on the porch. Remember, a 'contender' is a potential long term partner. As opposed to a 'booty call', which is a one night stand or 'servicing agreement', a regular sex partner, who is not monogamous. The first contender is named Paul. Paul is not my typical guy. I am a nonconformist rebel and he works for corp America and holds a government office. I mean when he picked me up Saturday night in a Crown Victoria, I was appalled. I have learned to keep my mouth shut and not put down a guy's car. So after I get in the car, he says, "I drive this car because I work part time for LA County."
I was like, "Is this a cop car?"
He says, "It can be." He pulls down the passenger visor and cop lights turn on. The car also had a walkie talkie. He took me to a nice restaurant in Santa Monica that I had never been to called Anisette. It was very charming and he suggested I order my own appetizer. Ding, ding, ding...Bonus points. We may have a Provider/Protector in the house. Our conversation was deep and intellectual. I haven't had that for a long time and it was nice. He was humble and asking me questions about myself. He insisted we get two desserts. More bonus points! He even stood up, when I got up to go to the bathroom. That was old school and very charming!
After dinner, I wasn't ready to go home so I consulted the Urban Daddy app on my IPhone. They should have an Urban Momma app! The Urban Daddy said we should go to Urth Cafe in Beverly Hills. But I suggested we go to the Shangri La hotel right around the corner. We got a table and had no service for 20 minutes. When we finally got our beverages, our waitress felt so badly for making us wait so long, that she said the drinks were on the house. Nice! There was more heartfelt and meaningful conversation about the economy, politics and family.
When he took me home, he asked if I wanted company walking my dog and I said, "yes". Pat Allen says to say 'Yes, Please and Thank you' to men unless what they are offering is immoral, illegal or unethical. We had a lovely walk and I can tell he was tickled by my dog's joie de vivre. He also was charmed by how emotionally entangled I was with my dog. My dog certainly liked him, which is always a good sign. At the end of the night, he leaned in to kiss me and I just allowed a peck on the lips. Thank Gawd he didn't try to stick his tongue in my mouth. He sent me a "thank you" text the next day, which is so appreciated. I responded back, of course, that was Sunday. Today is Wednesday and he texted me today, but didn't ask me out. If he was waiting for me to ask him out, he will have to wait until hell freezes over.
He is preppy, smart, classy and funny. I am not sure he is sexy or man enough for me though. I am a "rage against the machine" type of gal, so that fact that he is so mainstream is a bit of a turn off. But I am going to remain open minded. I would love to have him as a friend, but sometimes men are too hurt to do that if I reject him romantically. I would definitely go out with him a few more times. How important is someone's world view? Can someone still be a nonconformist if they work for corporate America or the government? I do want to be inspired by what my husband does, but maybe there is something else about him, that I don't know yet that will inspire me. I will wait and keep you girls posted.
Tomorrow I am going out with another new guy on the porch. It is our second date. Our first date was a walk around the Penmar golf course. More on him later...
Have a blissful night,
Goddess Girl
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
OH NOOO, HE DIDN'T!
My Girls,
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write you. After the last date, where the tycoon got that chick's phone number I took a two week hiatus from dating. I was listening to a Wayne Dyer CD and he said in no uncertain terms, "Stop searching for love! Let love find you!" I agree with Wayne D, because searching for love is just exhausting. So what has happened in the last couple weeks since we have last chatted, let me tell you, girlfriend, A LOT. This ain't no disco here in LA.
So I went to lunch with my brother and a group of attorneys and when I met them at Houston's in Santa Monica, one of the lawyers greeted me very lasciviously. I have no problem with being lusted after, no problem at all. But then this man, we will call him LL for lawyer loser, went on to ask me the worst series of questions that a man could ask a woman. You will be flabbergasted. The following questions were really asked of me..
1. How old are you? (Par for the course of rude questions) Ladies, you don't have any obligation to tell a man your age. Just tell him, "I am old enough to know better and young enough to not be able to resist."
2. What size bra do you wear? He guessed 34 b and I was insulted enough to give him my real size 36 c. And get this, he challenged me on it! Like I would lie about such a thing. I was defending my cup size within the first five minutes of meeting LL.
3. What are your measurements? He guessed way smaller than I am so I said, "yes, exactly." If they guess low on my age or weight, I usually just say,"exactly", lol.
4. He asked me three adjectives to describe him. Not such a bad question. I wish I had said, "Rude, crass, and tactless."
5. How many lovers have you had? I shouldn't have even answered this one, but I lied and said, "I could count them on one hand."
6. When was the last time I had sex? I was stupid and told the truth and told him, "Let's just say I am a 2010 virgin." This is sad, but true. But it's only June the year's not over yet.
7. And for his grand finale, he asked me if I thought that guys with small hands had a small penis. I said, "yes". So to prove me wrong, he busted out his cell phone and asked, "Would you like to see a photo of my penis? It's very big!" I was like, "Absolutely, not! I am so uncomfortable with that!"
He then got my number, paid for my lunch and invited me to go to Burke Williams for a spa day with the other female lawyers. I thanked him, but told him I had to get to therapy. I spent the first 15 minutes of therapy lamenting that I even answered any of his questions at all. Girls, you don't have to answer a question, just because a guy asks you. You can say, "I am not comfortable discussing that." Or you can say, "that is just too personal, I don't want to talk about it." I am not going to beat myself up for answering so many of his questions because I strive for imperfection. I am perfectly imperfect! You live and you learn, y'know?
So that was my random lunch with the lawyers. I have some new guys on my porch who I will discuss in the next blog, so stay tuned.
Signing out,
Goddess Girl
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write you. After the last date, where the tycoon got that chick's phone number I took a two week hiatus from dating. I was listening to a Wayne Dyer CD and he said in no uncertain terms, "Stop searching for love! Let love find you!" I agree with Wayne D, because searching for love is just exhausting. So what has happened in the last couple weeks since we have last chatted, let me tell you, girlfriend, A LOT. This ain't no disco here in LA.
So I went to lunch with my brother and a group of attorneys and when I met them at Houston's in Santa Monica, one of the lawyers greeted me very lasciviously. I have no problem with being lusted after, no problem at all. But then this man, we will call him LL for lawyer loser, went on to ask me the worst series of questions that a man could ask a woman. You will be flabbergasted. The following questions were really asked of me..
1. How old are you? (Par for the course of rude questions) Ladies, you don't have any obligation to tell a man your age. Just tell him, "I am old enough to know better and young enough to not be able to resist."
2. What size bra do you wear? He guessed 34 b and I was insulted enough to give him my real size 36 c. And get this, he challenged me on it! Like I would lie about such a thing. I was defending my cup size within the first five minutes of meeting LL.
3. What are your measurements? He guessed way smaller than I am so I said, "yes, exactly." If they guess low on my age or weight, I usually just say,"exactly", lol.
4. He asked me three adjectives to describe him. Not such a bad question. I wish I had said, "Rude, crass, and tactless."
5. How many lovers have you had? I shouldn't have even answered this one, but I lied and said, "I could count them on one hand."
6. When was the last time I had sex? I was stupid and told the truth and told him, "Let's just say I am a 2010 virgin." This is sad, but true. But it's only June the year's not over yet.
7. And for his grand finale, he asked me if I thought that guys with small hands had a small penis. I said, "yes". So to prove me wrong, he busted out his cell phone and asked, "Would you like to see a photo of my penis? It's very big!" I was like, "Absolutely, not! I am so uncomfortable with that!"
He then got my number, paid for my lunch and invited me to go to Burke Williams for a spa day with the other female lawyers. I thanked him, but told him I had to get to therapy. I spent the first 15 minutes of therapy lamenting that I even answered any of his questions at all. Girls, you don't have to answer a question, just because a guy asks you. You can say, "I am not comfortable discussing that." Or you can say, "that is just too personal, I don't want to talk about it." I am not going to beat myself up for answering so many of his questions because I strive for imperfection. I am perfectly imperfect! You live and you learn, y'know?
So that was my random lunch with the lawyers. I have some new guys on my porch who I will discuss in the next blog, so stay tuned.
Signing out,
Goddess Girl
Monday, June 7, 2010
THE GREEN AND WHITE HAZE
Hello There Pretty Ones,
So, you will not believe my date with the Gazillionaire. It has almost ended my internet dating career. So this guy put some time into me. He called, he checked in, we chated a few times before our date. We had some pretty good rapport going, even though he cancelled once before. So, by the time we get to our first date, I am siked. I mean, I have never been out with someone who owned a private jet. So we meet on Abbott Kinney. He didn't realize, when picking the place, that it was the famous First Friday night on Abbott Kinney. That is a street party, when they close down the street and 1,000s of people come to carouse. Needless to say, it was impossible to find a parking spot. I literally drove around for 45 minutes looking for a spot. I picked this night to wear a mini dress and 5 inch heels. There was no way I was walking more than 10 minutes. Mind you, LA is still cold at night this time of year.
So he finally tells me to just park at another restaurant's valet and that he will pay. Of course, when I get to the valet stand it's $15 and I say to the valet guy, "This date better be good. Or I'm going to come back pissed." Of course, he barely spoke a word of English and just nodded disinteretedly. So, I finally walk into the restaurant, Shima, a trendy Sushi joint. I could tell right away that I towered over the guy, especially in my high heels. So the first thing he says is, "You are all dressed up. I thought I told you to be casual." And I say, "Well, I wanted to look good for you." That is called a 'neg', please read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Neil actually tells men that if you subtly put down a woman, she will try harder to obtain your approval and be more likely to have sex with you. Yeah, right!
So, we start talking and he is ordering magnificent dish after magnificent dish. The food was stupendous. I was actually enjoying myslef, despite his incessant bragging and name dropping. I excused myself to go to the Ladies Room and when I return to the Sushi Bar he is talking to the gorgeous, blond, 20something woman in a black, backless dress. I sit there for 5 minutes in awkward silence. Finally, he introduces me to her. And she says, "Why do you need my help with your fashion line, if you have this lovely lady by your side?" He responds, "Oh, she has a different career path." So I ask her, "Are you in fashion?" And she says, "No, I am in finance." Then he goes on to explain the last fashion line he created was with a fashion neophyte. Now, in retrospect, this is the time I should have confronted his social faux pas or just got up and left.
But I am too wimpy and just sitting there stewing, doing oyster shots, when all of a sudden, my friend and realtor walks into the restaurant and right up to the sushi bar. My friend says, "I knew that was you. I recognized you from the back of your head." Gazillionaire goes, "You recognize the back of her head? I am not even going to to go there." Then I introduced him as my realtor, and he corrected me, "I am a lot more than your realtor. I am your friend." It was the perfect revenge. When they gave each other a passive agressive handshake, I was laughing inside. Girls, don't worry about revenge. The karma police has our back! I mean, there was a throng of people in the street and for him to look into the window of the restaurant, recognize me and come into say hi, is such a God shot (something that is way too good for me to manipulate myself. It's divinely orchestrated). I know if I saw my realtor on a date, I would never have interrupted.
So, after dinner, he walked me to the valet and asked me to go to a bar with him. He was already sloshed after having two beers and a whole bottle of Saki at dinner. I politely declined and he had the nerve to kiss me on my mouth twice. I almost dismissed his getting another girl's phone number right in front of me, as just being friendly. I call that the 'Green and White Haze' or being blinded by dollar signs, because if he was broke I would have rearranged his DNA. I sent him a text the next day that "I dont feel we are a match". He replied, "I thorougly enjoyed our dinner." And then today I sent him an email to Jdate letting him know how I really felt. I said, "I don't care if you make $1 million a day. If you have no integrity, I am not interested." He responded that he understands my point of view, but that it was a misperception. He says that she approached him. Ok, how dumb does he think I am? Remember girls our number one sorting tool is "Do I trust him?" If the answer is "no", then it's "Thanks for playing, next contestant, please!"
The problem with internet dating is that it's cold market, total strangers where there is no trust or respect. I am now more interested in warm market, people who know people I know, where there is both trust and respect. Interntet dating is a great tool for some people, but not for me. I would rather use my charm and social skills to meet guys. I like to see what I am fishing for before I pull it out of the pond. I need better ponds with better fish. Maybe tomorrow night at the Art Opening and the SLS Hotel, there will be good fishies. Until then. Chins up, my queens. Don't let the turkeys get you down!
Smiles,
Goddess Girl
So, you will not believe my date with the Gazillionaire. It has almost ended my internet dating career. So this guy put some time into me. He called, he checked in, we chated a few times before our date. We had some pretty good rapport going, even though he cancelled once before. So, by the time we get to our first date, I am siked. I mean, I have never been out with someone who owned a private jet. So we meet on Abbott Kinney. He didn't realize, when picking the place, that it was the famous First Friday night on Abbott Kinney. That is a street party, when they close down the street and 1,000s of people come to carouse. Needless to say, it was impossible to find a parking spot. I literally drove around for 45 minutes looking for a spot. I picked this night to wear a mini dress and 5 inch heels. There was no way I was walking more than 10 minutes. Mind you, LA is still cold at night this time of year.
So he finally tells me to just park at another restaurant's valet and that he will pay. Of course, when I get to the valet stand it's $15 and I say to the valet guy, "This date better be good. Or I'm going to come back pissed." Of course, he barely spoke a word of English and just nodded disinteretedly. So, I finally walk into the restaurant, Shima, a trendy Sushi joint. I could tell right away that I towered over the guy, especially in my high heels. So the first thing he says is, "You are all dressed up. I thought I told you to be casual." And I say, "Well, I wanted to look good for you." That is called a 'neg', please read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Neil actually tells men that if you subtly put down a woman, she will try harder to obtain your approval and be more likely to have sex with you. Yeah, right!
So, we start talking and he is ordering magnificent dish after magnificent dish. The food was stupendous. I was actually enjoying myslef, despite his incessant bragging and name dropping. I excused myself to go to the Ladies Room and when I return to the Sushi Bar he is talking to the gorgeous, blond, 20something woman in a black, backless dress. I sit there for 5 minutes in awkward silence. Finally, he introduces me to her. And she says, "Why do you need my help with your fashion line, if you have this lovely lady by your side?" He responds, "Oh, she has a different career path." So I ask her, "Are you in fashion?" And she says, "No, I am in finance." Then he goes on to explain the last fashion line he created was with a fashion neophyte. Now, in retrospect, this is the time I should have confronted his social faux pas or just got up and left.
But I am too wimpy and just sitting there stewing, doing oyster shots, when all of a sudden, my friend and realtor walks into the restaurant and right up to the sushi bar. My friend says, "I knew that was you. I recognized you from the back of your head." Gazillionaire goes, "You recognize the back of her head? I am not even going to to go there." Then I introduced him as my realtor, and he corrected me, "I am a lot more than your realtor. I am your friend." It was the perfect revenge. When they gave each other a passive agressive handshake, I was laughing inside. Girls, don't worry about revenge. The karma police has our back! I mean, there was a throng of people in the street and for him to look into the window of the restaurant, recognize me and come into say hi, is such a God shot (something that is way too good for me to manipulate myself. It's divinely orchestrated). I know if I saw my realtor on a date, I would never have interrupted.
So, after dinner, he walked me to the valet and asked me to go to a bar with him. He was already sloshed after having two beers and a whole bottle of Saki at dinner. I politely declined and he had the nerve to kiss me on my mouth twice. I almost dismissed his getting another girl's phone number right in front of me, as just being friendly. I call that the 'Green and White Haze' or being blinded by dollar signs, because if he was broke I would have rearranged his DNA. I sent him a text the next day that "I dont feel we are a match". He replied, "I thorougly enjoyed our dinner." And then today I sent him an email to Jdate letting him know how I really felt. I said, "I don't care if you make $1 million a day. If you have no integrity, I am not interested." He responded that he understands my point of view, but that it was a misperception. He says that she approached him. Ok, how dumb does he think I am? Remember girls our number one sorting tool is "Do I trust him?" If the answer is "no", then it's "Thanks for playing, next contestant, please!"
The problem with internet dating is that it's cold market, total strangers where there is no trust or respect. I am now more interested in warm market, people who know people I know, where there is both trust and respect. Interntet dating is a great tool for some people, but not for me. I would rather use my charm and social skills to meet guys. I like to see what I am fishing for before I pull it out of the pond. I need better ponds with better fish. Maybe tomorrow night at the Art Opening and the SLS Hotel, there will be good fishies. Until then. Chins up, my queens. Don't let the turkeys get you down!
Smiles,
Goddess Girl
Thursday, June 3, 2010
NO LAST NAME?!
Hello There, Pretty Girls!
You will not believe the latest with Hot Lawyer Guy. He called me on Monday night and I didn't call him back. So he texted me on Monday. In other words, "fade to black" wasn't working. So I sent him an email saying, "I have decided to become exclusive with one of the guys, I have been casually dating for the past year." He then emails me, begging me to give him one more date. I don't respond. So he texts me asking me if I got his email. So girls, he is chasing big time, way more than he did before. We all want what we can't have! It was kinda sexy that he was being so persistent. It showed he had good 'Penile Thrust Quotient', you know, male, testosterone laden sex drive. So I agreed to go on another date.
Then he texted me, "Can you talk?" Hours later at 10:30 pm, I responded that I could indeed talk. We had a conversation that he kept trying to steer toward sex. I have only known this guy for about 5 hours in person and he has not engaged me in any meaningful conversation. I found it a bit disconcerting, but I went along with it. So today he sends me some sexual texts. Now there's a difference between sexual and flirty texts. I don't exactly know where the line is drawn, but it's definitely there! Once again, I good naturedly went along with it. But when he texted, "I can't wait to see you and I can feel your lips, babe." I texted, "What's your last name?" He simply refused to tell me!
Now, I have known this guy for about two months. We have had three dates, several phone calls and many texts. I was a fool not to get his last name before the first date!! But when I asked him for his last name, he texts, "There is no reason for it. I not married nor do I have a girlfriend. I was stalked and I need to trust you." He needs to trust me? He is looking out for his safety? Last time I checked, I was the girl. Once again he is battling for the skirt, by putting his safety and comfort above mine. What has happened to the world? Aren't women the weaker, fairer sex who men want to provide for and PROTECT? Ladies, when there are two women or two men in the relationship, there can be no romance, just competition.
We are both vying for our safety and comfort. He is not cherishing my feelings over his. I said, "I just tried to end our relationship. You really think I am going to stalk you?" And he replies, "I was stalked. Try to understand. Why is it so important to you?" I respond back, "You have every right not to give me your last name. Thank you for your interest. I don't want to date anyone who thinks there's 'no reason' to give me their last name. Please don't contact me again." So of course, he calls me because men love the chase. He calls and doesn't leave a message. I call him back and say, "The most important thing to me is authenticity, integrity and transparency. Not telling me who you are is a disastrous way to start a friendship, business or romantic. As a woman, I need to feel safe. If you are on the internet looking for a potential spouse, your last name is part of what you are presenting." Of course, he doesn't respond. My friends think he is completely off base, creepy, and probably married. Who knows?
Allison Armstrong one of my mentors and the creator of 'Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women' says that there's no lack of men especially in LA, where there's 12 million people. We are not in a finding game, looking desperately for the One. Rather, we are in a sorting game. And the number one tool to sort through men is integrity. Ask yourself, "Do I trust him?". If the answer is "yes", then keep dating him. If the answer is "no", then cut your losses and move on. No guy should get more than three dates for you to determine this level of trust. Keep going on those dates, ladies. Don't give up. Churn em and burn em. There are plenty of men. We have plenty of time. Do not buy into the scarcity mentality. The good men are not all taken. There are 1,000s of them out there. They are looking for that special someone just like you. Every pot has a lid. So remember your three P's, persistence, patience and passivity. I am going out tomorrow night with a gazillionaire who owns a Private jet. He is also on a spiritual path. I am praying there is some chemistry. I will keep you posted. Until then,Keep plugging away after your heart's desire!
Love and smiles,
Goddess Girl
You will not believe the latest with Hot Lawyer Guy. He called me on Monday night and I didn't call him back. So he texted me on Monday. In other words, "fade to black" wasn't working. So I sent him an email saying, "I have decided to become exclusive with one of the guys, I have been casually dating for the past year." He then emails me, begging me to give him one more date. I don't respond. So he texts me asking me if I got his email. So girls, he is chasing big time, way more than he did before. We all want what we can't have! It was kinda sexy that he was being so persistent. It showed he had good 'Penile Thrust Quotient', you know, male, testosterone laden sex drive. So I agreed to go on another date.
Then he texted me, "Can you talk?" Hours later at 10:30 pm, I responded that I could indeed talk. We had a conversation that he kept trying to steer toward sex. I have only known this guy for about 5 hours in person and he has not engaged me in any meaningful conversation. I found it a bit disconcerting, but I went along with it. So today he sends me some sexual texts. Now there's a difference between sexual and flirty texts. I don't exactly know where the line is drawn, but it's definitely there! Once again, I good naturedly went along with it. But when he texted, "I can't wait to see you and I can feel your lips, babe." I texted, "What's your last name?" He simply refused to tell me!
Now, I have known this guy for about two months. We have had three dates, several phone calls and many texts. I was a fool not to get his last name before the first date!! But when I asked him for his last name, he texts, "There is no reason for it. I not married nor do I have a girlfriend. I was stalked and I need to trust you." He needs to trust me? He is looking out for his safety? Last time I checked, I was the girl. Once again he is battling for the skirt, by putting his safety and comfort above mine. What has happened to the world? Aren't women the weaker, fairer sex who men want to provide for and PROTECT? Ladies, when there are two women or two men in the relationship, there can be no romance, just competition.
We are both vying for our safety and comfort. He is not cherishing my feelings over his. I said, "I just tried to end our relationship. You really think I am going to stalk you?" And he replies, "I was stalked. Try to understand. Why is it so important to you?" I respond back, "You have every right not to give me your last name. Thank you for your interest. I don't want to date anyone who thinks there's 'no reason' to give me their last name. Please don't contact me again." So of course, he calls me because men love the chase. He calls and doesn't leave a message. I call him back and say, "The most important thing to me is authenticity, integrity and transparency. Not telling me who you are is a disastrous way to start a friendship, business or romantic. As a woman, I need to feel safe. If you are on the internet looking for a potential spouse, your last name is part of what you are presenting." Of course, he doesn't respond. My friends think he is completely off base, creepy, and probably married. Who knows?
Allison Armstrong one of my mentors and the creator of 'Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women' says that there's no lack of men especially in LA, where there's 12 million people. We are not in a finding game, looking desperately for the One. Rather, we are in a sorting game. And the number one tool to sort through men is integrity. Ask yourself, "Do I trust him?". If the answer is "yes", then keep dating him. If the answer is "no", then cut your losses and move on. No guy should get more than three dates for you to determine this level of trust. Keep going on those dates, ladies. Don't give up. Churn em and burn em. There are plenty of men. We have plenty of time. Do not buy into the scarcity mentality. The good men are not all taken. There are 1,000s of them out there. They are looking for that special someone just like you. Every pot has a lid. So remember your three P's, persistence, patience and passivity. I am going out tomorrow night with a gazillionaire who owns a Private jet. He is also on a spiritual path. I am praying there is some chemistry. I will keep you posted. Until then,Keep plugging away after your heart's desire!
Love and smiles,
Goddess Girl
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
