HERE LITTLE FISHIE

Lovely Ladies,

I haven't checked in with you in a while, because the relationship with MOH is all consuming. Let's see...where did I leave off. Oh, I remember now, we had a fun double date with a publicist and his girlfriend. So, after that we had a wonderful Saturday. He slept over the night before, and drove me to work. He came into the office and met all my co-workers. And, they all made fun of him because he they 'say' he was wearing Von Dutch. Whatever, I don't believe he would wear Von Dutch. For those who don't yet, Von Dutch is so White Trash. MOH's style is rocker, not preppy, like the guys I work with. So, MOH picks me up at work and he gives me his left over Chinese, so cute. Then, we crash the Smashing Pumpkins concert. He is all over me at the concert and it's adorable. After that, we grab a bite of Mexican food.

So the Mexican lady with the roses, comes over to our table and lays two roses in front me. I am waiting for MOH to give her money and he does nothing. I say, "Aren't you going to tip her?" And he says nothing. We leave the restaurant and I am singing in the car, feeling that everything was fine. I didn't want to come into his apartment because I would have sex and get home too late. Saturday is my busiest day, so for me, Fridays are a school night. All of the sudden, he storms out of the car and barely says goodbye. Instead of being a woman of class and dignity and driving home to get my beauty sleep, I go park my car. Then, I go to his door and call him to get buzzed in...no answer. Then, I call his cell...no answer. Then, I send him 10 text messages, and he doesn't respond. I didn't cuss him out on his voice mail or send nasty texts, though believe you me, I wanted to. Instead, I called my BFF and drove back to the West Side.

The next morning, I stalked him at Agape. I sat in our regular section and sure enough he shows up and says he turned his phone off and went to bed. He said that if we would have communicated, he would have said something mean that could have ended the relationship. Gals, the way some men deal with uncomfortable feelings is to shut down emotionally, go to their cave, lick their wounds and process their feelings. The key is to not take it personally. This type of behavior is particularly tough for me because it triggers my abandonment issues. Remember, the more space we give men, the more they want to be around us. The more we push, the more they flee. So, it's like fishing. You can't swim into the pond holding the bait and go, "Here, little fishie, fishie!" Instead, you sit on the boat with some tunes cranking and bask in the sun, while letting the fish swim toward the bait. When they get close to the boat, then you gently pull the bait away, you keep doing that and voila, they are on the boat!!

Girls, do not put your life on hold while the fish is swimming away. Sometimes, you have to let them free spool. That means, you know that the fish has already hooked himself on the bait. But the fish doesn't want to be captured and he starts swimming away from the boat. That is why you must give men a lot of line, because they don't want to feel pressured in any way. So what happens to the fish, is he swims so fast and furiously away from the boat, that he tires himself out. Then, it's easy to reel him right in. So while you are free spooling your man, go out and have fun. Go on dates with other guys, be prosperous, work out and continue on your own path of personal growth. If he's meant to be your guy, he will come back to the boat. Even MOH, said don't worry, "Goddess Girl, if I get upset I might go away for a day, but I will always return."

Only time will tell...But in the meantime, take care of yourselves. Peace and love.

Smiles,

Goddess Girl