MASSAGE

Hi Everyone,
So the update on hot, lawyer guy is this. After our third date, he sends me an email with one word, "MASSAGE'! I sent him an email back, "Lol. What does that mean?". He says, "I need one from you, but I have softball tonight." OK, let's break this down. First of all, he is an Internet date. That is a stone, cold stranger. Usually, when you go on an 'organic date', you have a rapport and a history with the person before you sit down to dinner. On an Internet date, they are a total stranger. So having the audacity to email me "MASSAGE" after 3 Internet dates, shows that he lacks charm and social graces. I find that guys on the Internet, in general, lack social skills. But that makes senses, because otherwise why would they need the Internet. If they had game, they could pick up women in person (the old fashion way).

I actually think that the Internet has made guys too lazy to pick up women in person. A) They don't want to risk rejection and B) They just as easily log onto their Match.com account and set up a date. I can't even remember the last time I got picked up the old fashion way. Oh yeah, it was Jeff, the Travertine King. He picked me up at the Viceroy. He was fat, bloated and claimed to be an ex professional football player. But when I googled him I found nothing, not a word about it. It's hard for guys to lie about their accomplishments now with Google. So Jeff and I left the Viceroy to make out at his friends hot tub in the Palisades. It was a magical night. It was rather dumb of me to let him drive my Lexus, when he had been drinking. But he swore he was OK.

We had a fun two weeks of me watching him drink, while going to Sports Bars during the basketball playoffs. He was definitely and Alpha Male (a domineering man; the dominant member in a group of males, esp. animals). He was a pretty good kisser and I liked that he grew up in the Palisades. He had some ghetto fab Cadillac. We had our best date when he took both me and my dog, Bungee, my 10 year old lab out to dinner. We ate AL fresco and then walked in a park in the Palisades. The relationship ended when he went to Arizona and barely kept in touch. When he returned to LA for 4Th of July weekend last summer, the vibe was somehow different.

He started off the date talking about his psycho ex baby mama. That is such a turn off to talk about another woman on a date. And vice versa for the ladies. Talking about any other man just about makes guys gag. If they bring up your past, quickly change the topic. Unless, you can't stand the guy and want to sabotage it, of course. Then his aging dad calls and said he had a diabetic attack. So Jeff cuts the date short. I told him to race me to the car, which was on the top floor of a parking garage. I said he could take the steps and I would take the elevator. When we met back up at the car and he was proud to have won the race, I burst his bubble by saying, "You see the lengths I have to go to get you to work out." I never heard from him again. Fuck him, if he can't take a joke.

So back to hot, lawyer guy. I am not going to respond to that email, because I have nothing to say. I am truly at a loss for words. Tomorrow night, I have a date with a very wealthy, eccentric man. It's an Internet date and we are meeting at a hipster restaurant in Venice. I will be going to Agape and working all day. So hopefully, I will find the energy to be just delightful. He seems to have charm and saviour fare. I met him on Jdate, but he's not Jewish. I should have known because his profile pic is playing Polo. I mean, what Jewish men do you know that play Polo? That's fine by me, because I only went on Jdate after my girl friend encouraged me. Jewish guys have not been my type, but I was forcing myself to be open. Apparently, a lot of gentiles have penetrated JDate. Who knew the Jews had a rep for being good spouses?

Talk to you soon!
Keep smiling,
Goddess Girl