CON ARTIST AT LARGE

Hiya Gals,
Sorry I have been so neglectful, but I have been out there dating and partying like a motha fucka. So much to tell you, but let's start with last night, one of the craziest nights I have had in Hollywood. So, I go to this fancy hotel on the beach in Santa Monica, Casa del Mar. I was invited to a birthday party, where I knew no one and everyone knew each other. So needless to say, I was bored out of my mind. I was also hungry, I noticed two of the girls from the party were sitting down at a table with an attractive guy. I joined them in hopes of ordering appetizers. I quickly found out the the man at the table, Shawn, was a series regular on 'All My Children' and was in town to shoot a movie with Matt Damon and Robert Downey, Jr. Another guy sat down next to me and started talking because his buddies bet him $20 that he didn't have the nerve to talk to me. When he left, I got my cards out to give one of the girls at the table. Then, Shawn says, "I will take your card."

I was actually really surprised because he was flirting with the other girl and I hadn't given him any attention. So I sit down again and I say, "I really want to ask you for a huge favor, but I am embarrassed."

He says, "Fire away! Ask me anything!"

So I say, "I have a crazy, mad crush on Matt Damon. Can you introduce me to him?"

He was like,"How do I know you aren't a stalker? You better not act weird or he will be so mad at me! Please don't throw yourself at him."

After, I assured him that I wasn't going to make a fool of myself or try to bust up his marriage, he agreed to introduce me. I got so happy and excited when he told me the Irish pub they frequent and that he would definitely introduce me, if I promised to be cool. Then, he pulled a total "Entourage" move and said, "What if I told you I could get Matt Damon to come to your condo tonight? Would you leave with me?" Now, girls, I never, ever advise leaving a bar with a stranger but this guy seemed harmless to me. And, I am the eternal optimist and really thought Matt Damon might just possibly come over so I left the bar with this guy. As soon as we get outside, we start making out passionately. By the time we get to me car, a block away, he has proposed marriage and told me he loved me!! He was like, "Let's go to Vegas tonight! You are the one I have been dreaming about. You are everything I want and more. I am never going back home to my girlfriend and her two kids. Let's just do it!"

I was like, "I have to go home and deal with my dog. But we can go to the Justice of the Peace in LA tomorrow." And he agreed that was a great idea. So all the sudden, I try to start the car, only to realize that I left my Chloe coat in the hotel with my car and house keys in the pocket. So I go to the hotel and get my coat. He is at the front desk, telling me how cool my coat is. We are walking back to the car. We are about 50 feet from the hotel and the waitress runs out to get us. She says, "You know you never paid your tab."

He says, "I told my people to take care of it."

She says, "Well, they never paid for you." So we walk back into the hotel, yet again. I sit down in the lobby to wait for him to handle his bill with the waitress. After 20 minutes, I go up to the waitress and ask her if she has seen him. She says, "No. You got conned. He is not with a production company. He disappeared." I was shocked. He seemed so sincere and so connected to Matt Damon. I then called the number he gave me and it was disconnected. I went back to my car and pulled to the front of the hotel. I was so surprised by his disappearance that I just had to check the lobby one more time to make sure he hadn't come back. And sure enough he was nowhere to be seen.

Ladies, the moral of this story is don't ever leave a bar with a stranger, even if they promise to introduce you to Matt Damon. Rejection is definitely God's protection. Thank Gawd, I left my jacket in the hotel. I probably would have had casual sex or something way worse could have happened. I looked him up today on IMDB and couldn't find anything. He is the best con artist ever! He seemed so sincere about his friendship with Matt and his wife Luciana. I knew the "I will marry you tonight" bull shit was to get laid. I mean, I am naive but not that naive. So I emailed Matt Damon through Face Book and told him what happened. I doubt he will ever read it or email me back, but it's worth a shot. When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.

Most women would be mad at Shawn and frustrated by the whole situation. But not me! I just think it was hilarious. I got to practice being authentic and asking for what I wanted. I got to practice negotiating my deal breakers in a marriage. I got a marriage proposal, declarations of love and hella compliments by a gorgeous guy in his 30s who is a fantastic kisser. Prior to this weekend, I have had very little chemistry and no excitement. And I had an excuse to email Matt Damon! Remember what I always say, girls, just enjoy the journey. Take it one date at a time. I am sure I will never hear from that guy again, but he flattered and entertained the hell out of me. It sure beat staying home or going out on another pathetic Internet date. I just show up and I let God decide who he will put onto or take off my path. The timing of the Universe is way better than mine. We make plans and God laughs! Be well, beauties!

Hugs and kisses,

Goddess Girl