HOW TO COURT

Hi Ladies,
Nice to be back here with you all. Believe it or not MOH and I have reconciled for the moment. But don't hold your breath because this relationship is passionate and very volatile. So where I left off with MOH was that Monday night of last week, I still hadn't heard from him. On Tuesday, I wrote on my status, "To err is human, but to forgive is divine."

And he commented, "Then I am divine." I didn't respond to that because my therapist was vehemently against the relationship. So much for objectivity! Then, on Tuesday afternoon, he called my business line with a referral. I still didn't respond. Then he put on his Face Book status some quote by Gandhi, "First they ignore you..." Of course, I thought it was referring to me and I felt guilty for ignoring him. So I called him on Wednesday morning at 10 am and thanked him for the referral and said he was "welcome to call." That's right, girls, don't tell a guy to "call you back" because that is telling them what to do. So by 2 pm in the afternoon, he still hadn't returned my call. It had been a whole week since we had last spoken and I was going through oxytocin withdrawal hell. When I saw him on Face Book instant message, I couldn't resist. I im'd, "hi".

I got completely needy and I asked, "Did you get my message this morning?" OMG! No response. I know men love to be thanked so again I thanked him for the referral. He responded that he was on the phone. I again asked for a convenient time to talk for just "five minutes". He said to call him and, of course, I did. I basically let him have it for emotionally abandoning me and not letting me defend myself. He was very quiet and when I asked why he said, because he didn't want to exacerbate the fight. So at the end of the conversation, which had gone way past five minutes, by the way, I asked him if we were broken up.

And he back pedaled, "Well, how can we break up if weren't really together? I mean let's not put a label on it because it's too much pressure."

I agreed, "You are right. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, because I can date whoever I want and you can date whoever you want. But we did agree to be sexually monogamous and to see each other once a week. Is that agreement broken?" Again, total silence. So I got into my yang mode and I came up with a solution, "Why don't we just see each other one more time and either have the human dignity to break up in person or we can try to work it out." He agreed and asked me to call him after work. So I called him at 9 pm as I was leaving the office and he said to call him back at 10 pm because he was in a business meeting. Then, I call him back at 10 pm and he said to call him back at 10:30 pm. So I call him back at 10:30 pm, and I am a little put off to say the least. He then, invites me to come over to his house in Hollywood.

Now ladies, as good as the sex is and as much as I want to make up, I am a little too dignified to traipse across town at 11 pm, so I say, "You sound really busy. Let's just do it another time."

He gets really frustrated and asks when I have to be at work. I tell him whenever I want and he gets even more irritated. So again, I turn into the pleaser, which is the nature of women, and I say, "Do you really want me to come over tonight?" And he says "no" and hangs up on me. Then, I don't hear from him for three more days. I go to Agape Sunday to the early service hoping to bump into him and the later service. I stay for the second service past the meditation and all the way into the second song, still no MOH. So I figure it's not God's will for me to see him and sure enough, as I give up and leave the building, he is walking in. We immediately get all googly eyed and he asks me to sit down with him on a bench outside the church. We talk it through and he invites me out that night. That was the past Sunday and I have seen him, in addition, Monday night, Wednesday night and Friday night. That is four times in one week. We have great sex and he is testing me at every turn to see if I am psycho.

The tough part is that even though we really bond and have great sex, he doesn't call me between visits. I mean, not at all. I am really not used to this behavior. Usually, when someone is my boyfriend, they call every day we make advanced plans. The days he hadn't called this week were beyond torture. But I gave in and called him Wednesday night and when I saw him, he was a grump. Then, when I white knuckled it through two days and didn't call him, he finally called me Friday evening and we went on our first double date. He was full of charm and compliments. He even spoke of the future and showed jealousy of other men. Wow. This hard to get stuff could actually work if I only had the stregnth to do it.

So today is Saturday and I haven't heard from him and it's really tough. But I will probably see him tomorrow at Agape and we will see if we hang out tomorrow after Church. This is truly a battle for the skirt. He has never had to pursue, court or cherish a woman's feelings. And it is becoming painfully obvious he doesn't know how to. The only way to train a man is lack of contact, according to the Bitch Book. And men fall in love when they are away, says Pat Allen. So I am one hour and sometimes one minute at a time staying away. Ladies, we have the power and we are the prize! Any man who thinks that he is the prize is a feminine man or a narcissist and you can do better.

Until we meet again, lovelies!

Sweet dreams,

Goddess Girl